I was up late one night a couple of years ago, looking for online photography classes, when I discovered a class at Big Picture Classes, and subsequently signed up for several classes with Tracey Clark. Her supportive instructional style and understanding and acceptance of each individual's creative path set me at ease immediately, and when I followed the internet bunnytrail over to her presence at Shutter Sisters, I immediately felt at home. I mean, just read part of their philosophy statement: "Shutter Sisters is committed to honoring and celebrating the beauty that women behind cameras can capture. We embrace the belief that we are all creative equals, eager to share with one another our work; our art. It is in that sharing that we thrive and grow not only in our creativity but in all facets of our lives." Reading this, I was hooked. I read back through many, many months of posts, traveling over to many contributors' blogs, often feeling overwhelmed while I was reading. So much beauty...beauty in the words and images that resonated with me through their simple honesty. Last year, Shutter Sisters offered their first retreat/camp at Asilomar. I wanted in so, so badly, but I was also very nervous about whether I was 'worthy' of attending such an event. I talked myself out to the edge of my comfort zone, and clicked on the 'register' link, only to be met with the news that registration was full (after only a few minutes). This year when registration opened for Shutter Sisters Oasis, I was determined to secure a spot, even going as far as clearing it with my director in advance to step out of our weekly admin meeting to register. As soon as my registration was complete (and non-refundable) I started having second thoughts. The doubts? They crept in big time. I was going to spend a chunk of time in Palm Springs with 80 women I had never met, many of whom whose words and images I had been inspired by for years. From our private Facebook group, I knew there were women that felt a common bond from attending last year's camp together and while in many ways this is beautiful, it felt like there might already be a community that I was standing outside of looking in. My deeply sublimated Jr. High self was quaking. Well, this could not have been further from the reality...I couldn't even really tell the newbies from last year's attendees once we were all together. So...I had butterflies the whole trip out to California from Texas, I had butterflies for the entire duration of camp, and I had butterflies on the trip back....but somewhere over the course of the trip, my nervousness about being worthy and valued shifted towards being excited and downright overwhelmed by the possibilities in my life as a creative human being. So overwhelmed in fact, that I had to retreat to my room on occasion and call The Man in tears or text with dear friends about the sheer unbearable pressure of feeling so inspired, and so stagnant all at the same time.
While the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs is *beautiful* and offered innumerable photo opportunities, and I did pick up some fantastic technical information in the workshops and play-alongs, my experience at the Shutter Sisters camp has to be measured in how personally inspired I felt by the women who shared their stories and the shift inside me towards a place that is more vulnerable, less certain, but absolutely more complete. I'm not exactly sure what it all means, but I intend to have some fun figuring it out....
More pictures from my trip to Oasis here if you're interested...
