Bless Her Heart

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 29

 Day 29: Family Puzzle Time

Nothing says winter break like puzzle time.  It's so nice that the girl has finally reached the age where she actually enjoys  the challenge of a sizable puzzle.  It's so nice to sit around the table with her and Auntie, each of us looking for our own pieces but with the common goal of finishing together.    When Auntie got here today and saw that the girl and I had already finished one of our puzzles she asked, "Who put the last piece in?"  I had to laugh.  This is left over from when we were kids.  A puzzle moves along slow at molasses at the outset.  1000 pieces laid out in front of you seems like a ridiculous task, but as the puzzle comes together and your options become more defined the pace of the puzzle making picks up.  By the end everyone is working together relatively quickly, tapping each piece into place and there is an unspoken determination to not only finish the puzzle but also to be the one to place the last piece.  When Aunty was the girl's age, placing the last piece was the ultimate feather in her hat...and now that honor has passed on to the littles.  As it should be.

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 28

Day 28: Poetry

I started developing a healthy appreciation for poetry during my adolescent years in India...thank you Madam Phatania and Siri Akal Singh.  Throughout my life various housemates, parents, children, best friends have all written poetry.  It is such an incredibly powerful medium.  I realize it's not for everyone...but bear with me for just one read.  A dear friend forwarded me this poem written by Mary Oliver yesterday, and it has been lingering with me throughout the day today.  I love, love, love this piece.  Read it and I think you'll see why.  What say you?

When Death Comes

Mary Oliver

From New and Selected Poems by Mary Oliver (Beacon Press, 25 Beacon St, Boston, MA 02108-2892, ISBN 0 870 6819 5).

When death comes like the hungry bear in autumn; when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me, and snaps the purse shut; when death comes like the measles-pox; when death comes like an iceberg between the shoulder blades, I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness? And therefore I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, and I look upon time as no more than an idea, and I consider eternity as another possibility, and I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular, and each name a comfortable music in the mouth tending as all music does, toward silence, and each body a lion of courage, and something precious to the earth. When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it is over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 27

 Day 27: Yogi tea

The weather today in Austin was so grey and dreary.  We woke up to a cold rain and looks like we'll be heading to sleep with it still raining.  Days like this are perfect for making a huge pot of Yogi Tea and letting it just simmer on the stove on and off throughout the day.  The house smells fantastic and cozy and like I'm 7 years old running around after Gurudwara with my friends. If you frequent Yoga Yoga here in Austin then you have probably been served a similar recipe.  Yogi Tea has become a trade name of sorts for a style traditional Indian chai. I've been drinking it since I was wee, but I didn't start making it from scratch myself until about 15 years ago.  I used to buy the teabags occasionally, but if you've ever had the freshly made chai, you know there is no comparison.  The teabags taste hollow to me. They are the fast food of the tea world if you will.  I still have the business card that I scrawled my papa's recipe on as he dictated to me what he thought made a perfect pot.  I happen upon it every so often, and I always think to myself that I wish that I had used my 'good handwriting' when I wrote it down.  Weird huh?  It's odd what becomes a permanent part of your history once a person is gone and there are no do-overs.  Anyhoo...I use my papa's recipe, which I'm sure is actually my mama's interpretation (we just liked to humor him sometimes).  I always use a little more ginger and a little more cardamom than the traditional Yogi Tea recipe.  I also seldom add black tea.  I want my kids to be able to drink it...and Lord knows I get my caffeine in a myriad of different ways throughout the day, I don't need another one.  

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 26

Day 26: Little Gifts

I snapped this picture of the boy yesterday.  I often times feel guilty that there are so many photos of the girl on the blog and over on Flickr.  He participates as much as the girl does in our family's daily life but he really doesn't like having his picture taken.  For some reason I absolutely hated having my picture taken as a child. It used to make my palms sweat and my heart race.  It seems kind of silly now, but I guess even as an adult I feel more comfortable on the other side of the camera.  So...I never take pictures of him without asking, and if he says no, I know better than to try and talk him into it. I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but I always feel like I'm getting a little gift when he lets anyone take his picture.  :)

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 25

 Day 25: Romantic Notions

The girl saved her pennies and bought herself a locket.  I'm guessing that this is a pretty standard jewelry choice for girls her age.  I thought she would have me print out pictures of her friends or cousins to put in there but instead she pulled out the photo album of our wedding pictures and chose pictures of me and the man.  I sat down on the floor next to her and answered her questions as she examined each wedding picture. She wanted me to tell her about that day and what it was like for our families.  While I was talking to her about it I realized that it really does feel like yesterday to me in some ways.  When I think about the man I feel like I am 22 years old again...and still more certain about him than I am about anything else in my life.  He is a good and earnest man and we have a good and earnest love.  It sounds so puritanical when I type it out...I really don't mean it that way.  I only mean to say that it's a simple and steadfast relationship that we have.  We work together daily, and we work in a hectic and complicated environment, so our work life can get muddy and stressful but when all is said and done we always come back to the base that we have.  The more the girl and I talked about it today, the more I realized how much she is absorbing about our relationship.  The funny thing is she doesn't see us together for very long periods of time. A couple of hours a night is all.  She has kind of a fairy tale sense about our marriage, and although the current logistics of our work keep us away from each other more than I would like...it still does feel a little fairy tale-ish to me.  I want both of my children to grow up with a realistic impression of human relationships, and I don't want to mislead them about how complicated they can be...but at the same time I feel like there has to be a way to let them know that romantic ideas aren't a bunch of hooey and that a simple and loving relationship is not only possible but what I want so deeply for them to have for themselves when they get older.  I love that the girl seems intrigued by our story lately, it makes me feel nostalgic and so blessed in the retelling of it.

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 24

Day 24: The Sleep In 

I snapped this picture as I was rolling out of bed this morning at the lazy, crazy hour of 11:15 a.m!  I think everyone was enjoying their post holiday quiet, because there was not a peep in our house, which is unheard of at this time of day.  It's a good thing that the boy needed to be delivered to a friend's house or I may have slept away the day.  There is such things as too much sleep.  When I sleep too long I usually wake up feeling a bit on the cranky side...slightly irritated with myself that I have let the potential of the day go by.  Sleeping through my first cup of coffee adds to the irritation I'm sure.  This morning the man and I slept in late and then I crept downstairs and made us each a latte with the fantabulous latte machine that we were gifted by my MIL and her husband. I am feeling well rested and fully caffeinated...I think I'll tackle the mess that is my desk...

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 23

 Day 23: Aprons

If I am picking small things to include in my daily gratitudes then I have to include my aprons.  The girl snapped this picture this evening while I was making dinner...and this is hands down my favorite apron. I have a bit of a collection (for me and the kids) and they all seem to cater to different moods in the kitchen, but the apron above is my daily apron.  It feels so old fashioned that sometimes when I put it on I can imagine myself channeling chefs from years gone by.  Is it weird that putting on an apron makes me feel like I have arrived in my kitchen?  I feel a bit like Mr. Rogers...only in that when I enter the kitchen to cook a meal I often take off my sweater and my shoes and in exchange I tie on my apron and throw a dishtowel over my shoulder, like I'm leaving behind the work of outside the kitchen in exchange for the work inside the kitchen.  Truth be told, I would be happy to be in the kitchen cooking all day. It's odd really...we have an ordinary suburban style kitchen, but it has beautiful light throughout the day and I love the way that I feel when I am in there. When I'm wearing a beautiful apron, coupled with the soft natural light coming through the window, it's hard not to dream of spending every waking hour in the kitchen creating new dishes...and taking pretty pictures.  

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 22

 Day 22: Culmination

Well, despite my best efforts there will have to be some doubling up of gratitude before the end of the year.  I always forget how crazy the last couple of days are right before Christmas.  I mean, if I stop and think about it of course there will be craziness in the closing days, but I am always in some kind of denial about it.  The last 3 days flew by, leaving me worried that I wouldn't have time to finish up all of little bits and pieces that I wanted to in order to be ready.  I crawled in to bed at 3:15 this morning after finishing all of the wrapping, writing and pretty-making.  Of course the kids were up at 5:45.  By 6:00 they had blown through their stockings and were anxious to start getting down to business.  The man and I stumbled downstairs.  I made us some coffee and then we took our places on the couch to watch the excitement unfold.  It's so rewarding to watch the delight and amazement on their faces.  I realize that we don't have many more Christmases with this type of magic.  This was our first year where the boy knew with certainty that there was no magical midnight visit...and it is only a matter of time with the girl.  She is already asking the types of questions that the boy would never dare to ask, for fear that the answers that he would receive would spoil the mystery.  She asked me this morning "Mama, did YOU put this hedgehog in my stocking?"  The boy never would have asked.  It was our own Christmas version of 'don't ask, don't tell'.  All the same, it was such a pleasure to watch them both open their presents this morning, both with a different understanding of how those things got there.  It was also doubly satisfying to see the enjoyment on their faces when they opened the things we got them that weren't on their Santa lists.  I really spent a lot of time thinking about those few things that were specific to each of them, but that they hadn't asked for, so it was lovely to see that they were pleased with them. In contrast to the speed of the last few days, today is moving along at a snail's pace. We have very, very few lazy days around these parts...but today has become one of them.  ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 21

 Day 21: New Traditions

Last night we had my family over for part one of our Christmas get together.  We'll tackle ornament night tomorrow night I think...but for last night we tried something new.  Inspired by a project that the Girl has done for a couple of years at school, we decided to give "gingerbread houses" a whirl.  I use quotations because we used graham crackers instead of gingerbread. I absolutely love watching my family come together when the creative juices are flowing.  The outcome is across the board.  We had a dream cottage, Frank Lloyd Wright inspired architecture (Falling Frosting?), mobile home, train, Golden Temple (complete with turbaned guards), abstract homes, trees...and you can't discount the 'gingerbread' teepee...

It was great to watch the frosting fly as the sibling rivalry started to kick in.  I'm not even talking about our kids...I'm talking about my adult siblings.  Nothing makes you strive for greatness like scoping out your sib's progress across the table.  It was all in good fun, and by the end of the night we had quite a village.  The coolest thing is that not one of them really like a typical gingerbread house even though all of the materials for adornment were the same.  It's been a while since we added a new tradition to our normal holiday routine as a family.  I was so giddy by the end of the night, because it went off without a hitch, and it seemed like everyone had a blast.  

So hooray for trying new crafts and hooray for my family that is up for giving my crazy ideas a try even at the end of long work days.  

On a side note, the closer we get to the end of this year the easier it seems to see the blessings around me.  I don't know if it's just the pervasive holiday cheer or the fact that my man has a little more time to chill with us around the house, but it feels so...right.  Even amidst all of the craziness if I take a breath and sit for a second, the underlying feeling is one of joy and love for one another.  The anticipation for Christmas morning is building, as to be expected. We'll spend most of tomorrow trying to make the time go faster, filling the hours with baking, wrapping and ornament making.  Just. Can't. Wait.

30 Days with a Grateful Heart - 20

 Day 20: Cookbook Corner

I'm sliding in under the wire here so I don't end up 2 posts behind...there are really not enough hours in the day when we reach this part of the year.  Riding on the coat tails of yesterday's post I am feeling most appreciative of my cookbook corner. All of the iPhone cooking apps in the world can't make up for leafing through page after dog-eared page of recipes at my kitchen table.  When I am in a cooking rut I turn to my corner for inspiration.  My current favorite is A Taste of the World, that my friend Jenny gave me for my birthday.  The photography is AMAZING and the recipes I have tried so far have been a smashing success.  I feel all inspired just looking at the picture of my cookbooks.  How sick is that?  :)