For our 16th wedding anniversary, we ran back to Western North Carolina for an extended weekend. We haven't been back to visit together, with just the two of us (sans kids) since shortly after we were married. It took loads of people, both family and co-workers to help us get out of town...and I just could not be more grateful for all of that help. We drove, towing The Man's Miata behind us, in order to deliver it to his brother for some custom modifications. The first thing we did when we rolled into town was to deliver said car, so that we could drop the trailer off and be free of it for the rest of the trip.
Day two, I left The Man at the shop with his brother and wound my way through the gorge to check out our old stomping grounds. My first stop was River's End Cafe. I'm not gonna lie, I stopped there for purely nostalgic reasons. One morning, before we were dating, The Man and I sat at a corner table talking and sharing a pot of coffee. I don't even remember how it ended up that we were at that table alone. Maybe we were there with friends and they left one by one to get back to work? Maybe one of us sat down there because the other was drinking coffee alone? I just remember that it started as 'one quick cup' and passing conversation...and hours later we were still sitting there talking about music, and baseball, and relationships. I remember leaving the cafe that day feeling like I had been catching up with a dear old friend, when in fact we'd only just recently become acquainted. That feeling never went away, and we were married five months later. Roll your eyes if you want...but even after all these years...even when the world is hectic and crazy around us...when we are able to make the space, we fall back into easy conversation or enjoy the comfort of shared silence. There is nothing like an 18 hour drive out to North Carolina...and an 18 hour drive back to allow plenty of space for both.
We had such a relaxing, replenishing place to stay. Even though it was a little chilly compared to our mild Texas winters, it felt really good to be in the mountains if only for a couple of days. We spent a lot of time standing around the engine bay of the Miata, or sitting on the porch, drinking coffee and watching the weather blow in. It was such a welcome change of pace from the neverending hustle and bustle of our urban life.
Even after the 18 hour trip home, I arrived back at my desk on Tuesday morning feeling refreshed and reconnected. Unlike many vacations that have left me feeling like I'm sitting on empty once I get home, my cup has been filled, and I'm reveling in my daydreamy memories of falling snow and hanging with my man.
Day 28 - Music in the house
Music as self expression. That's what we've got going on over here. Lots of it. The teenager has headphones almost permanently inserted in his ears. It seems like he is discovering new music daily. He's very definitely at the age where he feels like his music choices help define who he is to the wider world, but at the same time he's excited to share all of the music he's finding. The girl? Well, the girl, she sings and strums and writes and sings some more. When she's upset, she goes to her room and sings. When she can't sleep, I can hear her in her bed singing. The only way I can get her to take a shower some days is to remind her that she can always sing in there. I love that we've reached an age where the kids are actively searching out what music means to them. It delights them. It comforts them. It moves them. And that moves me. Truly.
Day 25 - These two...
Can I just say that it *could* be enough to just acknowledge that I am grateful for my mother-in-law and her dear husband? I know that not everyone feels this way about their in-laws, so I'll keep it short lest it seems like I'm bragging. For the purpose of this exercise, I'm gratituding (new verb!) them together, when in truth I could go on and on about each of them separately...but I'm running out of days and I'm sure they wouldn't mind. They are generous and kind, inquisitive and worldly, fabulous with one another and family centric to the tilt. Can I also add welcoming, gracious and encouraging? Oh! And man can they share a laugh! Full hearted, hilarious, contagious laughter that leaves your cheeks hurting. I feel incredibly blessed that they live just down the road a stretch and that we get to experience their warmth and love more often than most. xoxo.
Day 23 - The Man
*Fair Warning: Mushiness ahead. Skip this post if you are made sick by lovey-dovey talk.
If you have read here in the past then you know exactly how I feel about this man of mine. Almost 16 years we've been married and not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of how lucky I am to have him by my side. He's an inherently good man. He's a fair papa with a great big heart. He works so. incredibly. hard. to take care of us, to take care of our business, to take care of everyone. He inspires me to be a better me, but loves me just as I am. What more could a girl ask for? Not one thing.
Day 16 - The locals...
Last night the (direct) family gathered together for my sweet niece's birthday dinner. I was once again reminded what a blessing it is to have my entire family near enough that we can gather together for celebration. I love that The Girl and my niece are close enough that often times, their relationship looks more like sisters than cousins. I love that my kids are growing up with the opportunity to really get to know my siblings and vice versa. I love the convesations that extend long into the night. That we are all so different from one another, but we share many common interests and when we come together we have so much to share and learn from each other. I love that our children have these conversations to weave in and out of while we sit around my mother's dinner table. I have massive amounts of gratitude this morning that even though we are all relatively near one another, it still feels special when we call come together.
Day 14 - This sister of mine...
This one who used to be this eensy sprite, a lark, a little beaming light of a thing has spent a lifetime becoming this most incredible human being. A warm glowing force of a woman, dear friend to me and many others, a true listener, crusader for the neglected, under-priveledged and disadvantaged. Awesome aunt extraordinare, even-keeled sister-voice of reason, two-stepping wonder, from scratch pie crust maker and resident beautiful badass. She moved away to Mexico and we missed her terribly. We have her back and the wider world might have to wait a little longer this time before we let her go. She inspires us all to shine brighter. Thank you sister....
Day 8 - Big love for Big Papa
My Papa, renamed 'Big Papa' when The Teenager was born, has been gone for almost ten years but not a day goes by that I don't think of him, miss him, talk to him. Of course I'm caught off guard at the most unexpected times by how much I still mourn that he's not here with us, but predictably his presence is missed most at this time of the year. When we make the space to all come together as a family is when it's most obvious that we are missing a dear piece of our family puzzle. I'm so fiercely proud of what each of my siblings have become as adults, that it's so hard to not ache when I think that he missed getting to see the rewards of a lifetime of hard work and conscious parenting. I ache for my children who will never hear his goofiest jokes or walk in the woods with him. He often said he had waited his whole life for grandchildren. "All of the perks non of the work." I ache for my mother, who after almost 25 years of marriage lost her partner in this journey entirely too early. But here's the thing....All the aching, all the tears they are rooted in the deepest love. When we do get together as a family, we have the best stories to tell. The most ridiculous, outrageous, lovely...loving stories to tell. Although he's not here with us, I see his unconditional love in my daughter, his analytical mind in my son...and a big mess of abundant love between us all. Just as he would have wanted it. Thank you Papa.
Day 7 - Mama
It doesn't seem like there are words big enough or deep enough to convey how deeply grateful I am for my mama. When I look down at my hands on a feverish forehead, I see my mother's hands. Not just the physical resemblance but the lifetime of late nights and soothed fevers. When I'm at a loss for words while struggling to communicate with my children...when I'm at my wit's end...I take a breath and search for her words to guide me. When all else fails, a phone call to her helps calm my worries that my children might not grow out of whatever 'phase' they happen to be in. She's a lifelong seeker, student and teacher. I love her deeply for the mama she is to me. BUT...the most amazingly beautiful thing is that she's a mama to so many. She cares for so many mamas and papas, babies and children. I'm so incredibly proud of this life's work of hers. The world is a beautiful, more compassionate place with her in it and I know I'm not alone in feeling an immense amount of love and gratitude for her.
PS. She's also amazingly humble, so she'll probably not really like me sharing this with the world, but c'est la vie.
PPS. She's one heck of a yoga teacher
Day 5 - Our Furry Family
We have these 2 dogs, Flyer and Ginger:
And my Mama and my brother have sweet Tallulah:
All three of these dogs were rescue puppies. Ginger was a might older than the the other two when we searched her out to be Flyer's companion, old enough to have developed all sorts of baggage. Who ever had her before we did must have not been very nice to her. It took two years before she would come anywhere near a visiting guest, and another year before she would sleep in the house overnight...no matter what the weather. I am grateful that all three of these dogs are so kind and gentle. In my haste to clean up dog mess or to shush their whining or the occasional barking in the back yard, I often forget how blessed we are that these particular dogs came into our families. We've had them for quite some time and as they all seem to slow a little as they age I am realizing more and more how patient they've been with all of the commotion of our lives and the children growing up around them. They nuzzle and play, wag and wrestle and would follow our family to the ends of the earth. How did we get so damn lucky?
